Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he thought i was a dude.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
