I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
