Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
