My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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