I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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