Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
