So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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