I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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