I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
