I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
