I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
