I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
