5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
