What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
