oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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