i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
