I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
