90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
