did you get engaged???
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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