I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
This baby is an asshole
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
