butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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