But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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