i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
