new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
