her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
