i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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