Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
