I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
