It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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