I wish I could punch you in the face.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
