Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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