My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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