We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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