Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
