Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize
