john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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