Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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