Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I wish I only lived at night.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
