marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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