either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
