I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I cut my penus on the lid.
Come see our sink grown plant.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It's official drugs can't kill me
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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