is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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