So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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