If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
