i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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