Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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