so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
