Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
