Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
