He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
