i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
