Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
