I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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